Diana Richardson - Tantric Sex for Men
Initially the interval between these long pleasure waves is a few seconds, and then they become less frequent, with longer
intervals.
I feel the energy rushing through my body, flowing from me to her, going through her body and coming back to mine
through the contact between penis and vagina. I realize that if we keep a light contact with our tongues the waves pass
more easily from my body to hers, creating a virtual circle that lasts long and eventually fades slowly, slowly . . . and it is
beautiful to lie together, hugging, to watch the shaking of our bodies, the energy waves going up and down the spine,
exchanging that state of ecstasy, indefinitely recharging each other. And when the waves calm and my ocean becomes
still again I have the usual post-orgasm symptoms: my penis becomes soft again and my limbs are relaxed.
Since that first time it has happened many times, but not always. This kind of orgasm, the valley orgasm, just happens
of its own accord; I can’t make it happen, I can only relax and allow it to happen. The biggest difference from a
traditional orgasm is that after making love it takes less time for me to be ready again, because I’ve gained energy rather
than wasting it, and the feeling of desire is untouched. After a night of these orgasms I need less sleep than usual, only a
couple of hours, to be okay and get up perfectly refreshed. If I don’t ejaculate I can go on making love for hours and
hours. Of course I don’t mean the boring “in and out” that we usually mean by making love. I mean following the energy,
allowing the energy to guide me to move, to slow down, to stop . . . I wait, feeling what happens in my and her body,
feeling the exchange of energy that goes through my penis.
The most important thing for me is to be relaxed. When I feel pleasure rising intensely, I have to remember to relax,
rather than becoming tense as I normally would. It is particularly important to keep the muscles of the anus relaxed and
soft, not tight and contracted. This expansion allows energy to go free, rather than being obstructed there: if the energy
can’t find the space to go up, it will be forced to go down into an ejaculation.
The other important thing is meditation. I’ve noticed that this type of orgasm is more likely to happen when I’m
meditating regularly.
I don’t think that technical knowledge about tantra is particularly important. That first time, in 1993, I was so
completely ignorant about tantra that I was surprised and puzzled about what was happening to me, and thought I might
be ill. I had to wait for years, till I met you both in 2000, to learn more about the circulation of energy in and between
male and female bodies.
Tantric Inspiration
Tantra says do not try to escape; there is no escape possible. Rather, use nature itself to transcend. Don’t fight—
accept nature in order to transcend it. If this communion with your beloved or your lover is prolonged with no end in
mind, then you can just remain in the beginning. Excitement is energy. You can lose it; you can come to a peak.
Then the energy is lost and a depression will follow, a weakness will follow. You take it as relaxation, but it is
negative.
Tantra gives you a dimension of higher relaxation, which is positive. Both partners melting with each other give
vital energy to each other. They become a circle, and their energy begins to move in a circle. They are giving life to
each other, renewing life. No energy is lost. Rather, more energy is gained because through the contact with the
opposite sex your every cell is challenged, excited.
And if you can merge into that excitement without leading it to a peak, if you can remain in the beginning without
becoming hot, just remaining warm, then those two warmths will meet and you can prolong the act for a very long
time. With no ejaculation, with no throwing energy out, it becomes a meditation, and through it you become whole.
Through it your split personality is no more split: it is bridged.
OSHO, TRANSCRIBED TEACHINGS,
VIGYAN BHAIRAV TANTRA
4
THE EQUAL AND OPPOSITE FORCE OF THE FEMALE
ENVIRONMENT
MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME
Much of the confusion and misunderstanding that occurs between men and women results from
ignorance regarding our true differences. These deep-seated differences shape our respective roles
during sexual communion. With insight into these differences we can begin to work together to reveal
and unleash our sexual potential.
For deeper insight into our human potential we refer to information contained in the Tantras (the
tantric scriptures), sacred knowledge from the ancients. These ancient sources contain compelling
information that rightfully should be passed down from one generation to the next.
Fig. 4.1. Inner magnets of man and woman, showing poles, magnetic rods, and potential circular energy flow (in yab-yum
position).
Male and Female Aspects within the Individual
The previous chapter explained the way in which each human being can be likened to a magnet, with
a male and a female pole energetically linked by a rod of magnetism that, when awakened, gives rise
to an inner electromagnetic streaming. This subtle internal by-product of the inner male and female
forces at play within us represents our innate bisexual reality, and represents the very foundation of
tantra and the biological basis of the orgasmic experience.
Of particular significance is that these two forces are equal. One is not more, one is not less; they
are balanced, even. However, these poles simultaneously exist as opposite forces in relation to each
other. The poles are equal forces, but opposite forces, not identical forces. Male represents an
outgoing—“positive” or dynamic—force. Female represents a receptive—“negative” or passive—
force.
The qualities of receptive and dynamic are diametrically opposite, and at the same time, they are
equal and opposite and complement each other. They balance, correspond, and enhance each other,
and one cannot exist without the other. Just as electricity requires two poles, positive and negative, no
being or body can be without two poles, masculine and feminine, the universal forces of yin and yang.
Dynamic and Receptive Poles
In the male body the male, positive pole is represented in the genitals, the female, receptive pole in
the chest/heart. The reverse is true for woman; the male, positive pole is in the breasts/nipples/heart,
the female, receptive pole is in the genitals. When man and woman are in an upright, standing
position, man can be visualized as a magnet standing on its head, with the positive (north) pole below
and the negative (south) pole above. The woman is like a magnet standing upright: the positive (north)
pole is above and the negative (south) pole is below.
Magnets Meet at Opposite Ends
When a man and a woman come together in an embrace, for instance, their bodies actually meet with
energetically opposite ends aligned. The positives and negatives of each individual approach and
meet simultaneously at the genital and heart levels. The inner rods of magnetism (as mentioned in the
previous chapter as the source of the orgasmic state) flow in opposite directions to each other. When
two magnets meet at opposite ends, there is an attractive force that pulls them together. And the same
“magnetic” attraction can also be felt between male and female bodies. There is a perceptible
drawing and pulling sensation as the equal and opposite forces influence each other. In addition, there
is tremendous amplification of the magnetic or energy fields surrounding the two magnets/bodies.
The Dynamic Male Force
A man’s body contains two poles, but the male dynamic aspect is the outer aspect, while the female
(receptive) is his inner aspect. In a woman’s body the reverse is true. The female receptive aspect is
outer, and the male (dynamic) aspect is her inner aspect. One aspect is externalized, but both aspects
are always present. Generally speaking, this implies that physically and energetically the man,
predominantly male, is a dynamic force, while the woman, predominantly female, is a receptive
force. Man does not have to take any direct action to connect with his feminine side, or his so-called
inner woman. The more truly male man becomes through a relaxed, non-doing presence in sex, the
more his opposite feminine quality of love will naturally and gradually open up. There will be a
balancing within him. Similarly, a woman will access her “inner man” by relaxing increasingly into
her feminine nature. The harmonizing inner opposite emerges and flowers as an alchemical process,
as an outcome or a by-product.
Figure 4.1 shows the inner magnets of a man and woman with poles, magnetic rod, and potential
circular energy flow while sitting in yab-yum position.
Genitals—Equal and Opposite Forces
The qualities of these forces, the intrinsically different polarities of man and woman, extend down to
the level of the genital tissues. The shape of the male penis informs us that it is an instrument from
which energy can flow or emanate. Likewise, the vagina is shaped as a canal or receptor with an
innate capacity to receive, absorb, or draw out the opposite force.
Energetically and physically our equal and opposite forces are complementary; they fit together to
form a single unit. There is a completion in the joining of the penis and vagina, when a man’s dynamic
pole meets and penetrates a woman’s receptive pole. When separate and apart, it can be said that the
genitals exist as two incomplete halves. Tantra masters believe that everything that is incomplete is
longing for completion and suggest that the search for sex, the longing for sex, represents a deep
yearning for union, completion, and peace.
Through the understanding of polarity—the equal, opposite, and complementary forces—it
becomes more apparent that man is not necessarily an independent unit unto himself. In order to invite
the truly masculine qualities embodied in his penis, a man is dependent on the environment around
him, namely, the vagina. The quality of receptivity determines or influences the dynamic qualities. A
dynamic force can only be dynamic (experience its very self) through being received. In fact, the more
receptive, the more dynamic; the two happenings are inextricably linked. Giving makes receiving
possible, and receiving makes giving possible, which is why it is so important for a man to take into
account his equal and opposite force and become aware of the vital role of receptivity.
The Significance of the Female Environment
To manifest the vitality of the penis and discover how best to call forth its dynamic male qualities
(and essential function), the woman needs to be centrally placed in the sexual constellation. Man
physically enters woman with his penis, so the environment surrounding the penis is to be given value
and not underestimated. The polarity differences between men and women are best embraced and
enhanced, not sidestepped, in order to make the most of the sexual situation. Acknowledging the
woman’s receptive nature allows the man to experience himself as a truly masculine force. He feels a
deep sexual fulfillment when he experiences male energy flowing through him and being received by
the woman.
Man is inextricably dependant on woman for his higher experiences, and her environment needs
some preparation to be able to warmly receive the guest. Man basically can be ready for sex at any
given moment if he so wishes, which is probably the by-product of being a positive, dynamic force.
Woman’s lack of instant readiness is a by-product of her nature as a receptive, passive force. Any
reluctance or unwillingness in sex is not a mental hang-up or frigidity, but rather a reflection of the
intelligence of the body.
Woman’s Body Needs Clock Time to Open
Usually man prefers to penetrate woman as soon as possible. Getting inside her becomes his primary
focus, often from fear of losing his initial erection response. When a man has to hang around on the
fringes waiting for the woman, he easily loses his erection and may have to wait some time for
another. In reality, a leisurely, extended time frame, even an hour or three, will normally suit woman
very nicely. She is able to tune into her body and relax into herself. If the man takes the time to “be”
with the woman, perhaps to lovingly and softly (as a feather) caress her body into an energetically
expanded state before entering her, he will be amazed by what an awesome experience it is. To
consciously enter and be received by an inviting and absorbing channel changes the entire experience,
which in turn transforms man.
When woman is entered too early, without feeling truly ready to receive, without the feeling of a
total yearning “yes,” her body may begin gradually to close down, interest in sex may dwindle, and
reluctance to have sex may increase. During the initial phases of lovers’ meeting, the woman’s heart
is wide open, so receiving man totally and at any time is not an issue. But sooner or later a woman
will require acknowledgment of her differences if she is to continue enjoying sex well into her later
years. The same is true for man. On an encouraging note, once a man of eighty years attended a
