Diana Richardson - Tantric Sex for Men
Since we’d been working on ourselves for more than twenty-five years and giving mental training seminars for three
years, we had the feeling we knew at least the tip of the iceberg, yet you taught us much, much more.
For the past ten years, since the changes due to menopause, we had given up sexuality, but we are now living what we
both call a “wonder” or a “miracle.” All the doctors and the few trainer/teachers we had approached confirmed that in
nature, “Women are, in fact, old models,” and that we would have to live with this situation. I adjusted, but fortunately,
my wife did not give up. She had the feeling that despite not being fond of sex, something was missing in our marital
partnership.
Since we met you on the first night of the “Making Love” seminar, and after our very difficult and depressing
experience on the following afternoon, we began making love two to three times a day with utmost pleasure and love.
Although all the doctors (including a gynecologist) told us that the dry, closed, and painful vagina could only be
reactivated with the help of regular hormone therapy, which my wife did not want at all, things have actually worked out
to be as they were in our very young days. She is smooth and lubricated, and with love and pleasure as never before, not
even at age twenty-five. For us this is a wonder. And with this completion of the circle, the love, tenderness, pleasure,
care, ease, and happiness that has entered our partnership is at its very best. Nobody knows how happy we are, except
us, of course.
With the easy way things are going now, we both believe your words—that this world can live in peace and happiness.
We are spreading the word and hope that eventually it will reach all humans, and that all those who can see and feel the
truth will live a new life with joy.
LETTER SHARING (MAN)
Making Appointments for Lovemaking
First, thank you once again for the beautiful week. It was a milestone in my personal journey toward myself. Now, after a
week of practicing what we learned from you during the retreat, I notice that I feel completely different—calm, present,
happy, and content—and many tensions have disappeared. Although my everyday life continues to have many
obligations, I am going through it more serenely and without hurry.
The fact that I have dropped the very idea of goals in lovemaking gives me a totally different feeling in my body, mind,
and emotions. Now I know that I don’t need to go anywhere or do anything, but just feel and rest in the present moment.
This gives me enormous trust in myself and in life, because now I know that I don’t need to create anything and that I just
have to wait for things to happen on their own. Also, the fact that my wife and I make appointments to make love is a
totally different approach in our relationship, because knowing that we both are willing to go forward in lovemaking
makes me satisfied and without anxiety. I don’t need to wonder whether she wants to be with me or not; I know she wants!
And this is such a relaxing feeling.
All of your “Love Keys” are so important: eye contact, slow penetration, breathing, heart opening, and so on. But one
of the most important things is that lovemaking becomes like a continuous exploration, because so many things are
coming to the surface. Sometimes we don’t know what is going on—misunderstandings also arise—but at the end the sky
becomes clear and serene and we have new insights. In any case we feel closer to each other and more loving. Of course
we have just opened this door a little, and we know that we have just a little experience of what we have learned from
you, but it seems like a new page in our lives.
LETTER SHARING (WIFE OF THE ABOVE MAN)
Healing Hatred toward Men
I would like to add a few things important to me. In our lovemaking many of my old fears, distrust, and anger toward men
came out. It was sometimes very difficult for me to accept all my old hatred toward men, but I managed it, seeing that my
husband is not that kind of man at this moment. He is full of love and compassion, and that helps me a lot. But also after
those difficult moments, today we had some wonderful experiences. Feeling his penis inside, doing nothing, was such a
tremendous joy, I felt that now life is beautiful, and it just goes on and on. It is some kind of miracle for me, and I thank
you for that.
For me it’s sometimes difficult to look at all the things that are coming up, to accept that lovemaking is like meditation,
and to just watch what is coming up and not do something about it. But I like this process very much and see that I can
become more aware through it, so it feels right for me.
LETTER SHARING (MAN)
Our Lovemaking Is Helping to Heal the Earth
Our lives have changed a lot in the past seven years, since we have changed a lot. We still pursue the same professions,
own the same house, and so on, but within us something has changed considerably. We feel, sense, and see more, and
most of all, we have learned to feel, sense, and see inside. In our daily encounters we reach physical, mental, and
spiritual depths that we never considered possible.
Our love journeys have diversified. They lead us deep into our bodies, to Mother Earth, through space, to the sun,
through the chakras and their colors, to temples, angels, and through previous lives. On physical, mental, and spiritual
levels we are creating healing connections for our own healing and for the healing of others. We are sending healing
energies to the earth, to war zones and disaster areas. We are breaking patterns from our past and from past lives.
We do all this in a deep loving connection, feeling the golden ring that streams from the penis to the breasts through
the vagina, the garden of love, the kundalini line, and the organs. This golden ring stays with us throughout our
everyday life. It also streams when we are not actually physically connected. It streams across continents, and we can
sense our love connection physically when we are apart.
This ring, which we forged in our first tantra course, gets stronger and stronger, and we realize that the people
around us can feel it, even if they know nothing about our tantric connection. We relate differently to life; we’re more
awake, more conscious.
Due to our healing connection we can participate in world affairs on a spiritual level, and we sense that it makes a
difference. Our tantric connections are evolving. We feel this again and again with great pleasure.
LETTER SHARING (MAN)
Gratefully Relieved of a Job
I am writing to express gratitude for the beautiful and profound retreat that my woman and I attended in December 2008.
For forty years I have been searching, researching, and experimenting, knowing deep down that lovemaking holds the
key to the expression of love between a man and a woman. This search led me to tantra fifteen years ago, and with each
workshop since, with some of the best teachers in the Western world, I ended up with just another set of techniques that
focused on achieving various phenomena. Little did I realize that each of these was distracting me from what I wanted
most, namely, to connect in love with my lover. What I learned in the “Making Love” retreat is that this is totally available
for me in stillness in lovemaking. When my mind and body are still my heart opens and my penis becomes a vehicle of
loving, healing male energy.
Also during the retreat I experienced what I can only describe as a change in consciousness around my male
sexuality. Like all men that I know, since my earliest sexual experiences I felt driven by some force within me toward
sexual pleasure and ejaculation. While I love sex and sexual pleasure, every so often I noticed this feeling of being out of
control, as if sex had control of me. After my first tantra workshops and reading Taoist books on sex, I began to practice
ejaculation control in lovemaking and conserving vital energy by not ejaculating with every experience of lovemaking.
While this provided great sexual experiences and gave me the beginnings of a sense of mastery, it was still control of a
strong biological urge and suppressing the habit of the intense pleasure of ejaculation.
During the “Making Love” retreat there was a shift. In our lovemaking we had the time to really experience what it
was like not to move toward excitement. It was as if we created the space for something new to manifest. We had the
opportunity to really appreciate one another. We experienced healing of past sexual hurts. We expressed the love that we
felt. We saw and felt the beauty of male and female body joined in love. For me it was as if this deep experience of
extended presence in love outweighed the fleeting pleasure of ejaculation.
There is a very practical aspect that I enjoy about this way of making love. In past lovemaking I always felt as if I had
a big job to do. The first thing I had to do was to gently seduce my lover to get her interested in having sex, and then help
her to awaken sexually so that she was ready for intercourse. The next part of the job was to build the level of excitement
till she was approaching her orgasm. If I decided that I would ejaculate it was preferable that we try to orgasm together.
Alternatively, I would have the job of withholding the energy and semen of ejaculation while she had her orgasm. That’s
a lot of work for a man to do. It didn’t leave much time for me to experience and express love.
Now it’s simple. Together we both look for the next opportunity to make love. We connect in cool pleasure and I have
no job to do other than be present.
LETTER SHARING (MAN)
Opening and Closing My Heart
I will not give my power, my life-power away again. Since the workshop I feel alive, my heart is beating strongly. I am full
of beans. I feel grateful for my love, my cheerfulness, my joy about a new day and about this gift. But I also feel pain for
the many times when I did not, or could not, do what I actually wanted to do. A kiss with my beloved in the morning, a
loving embrace, looking into each other’s eyes, and sharing joy about life and about this moment cause me to laugh and
cry simultaneously. It is coming from a deep place. I feel it streaming through my heart as it opens and laughs, closes
down, and starts to cry.
Now I am sitting here and my heart is wide open, and in this moment I feel in touch with the silence, the joy, the love.
Here, I also feel like opening and sharing it. Slowly the pain about things I did not do, about the love that was not
expressed, dissolves. Yes, I am bringing light into the darkness, into the fear, and it is disappearing. Now I also
understand that you can show me the way, but I have to walk it. Yes, I am walking, and sensing, and enjoying. Life is so
beautiful and I am a part of it.
LETTER SHARING (MAN)
Finding a Deeper Connection
The days with you have been a refinement for us on all levels. Our lovemaking has become slower, more energetic, and
less athletic. I did not have any physical discomfort with conventional sex, but often felt energetic conflict before, during,
and after the sex, which had led to weird moodiness.
Now that we have become more conscious and slow, I feel more balanced, ever more often finding that relaxed,
flowing, powerful quality of being that I have always looked for on other paths, but never found so easily and naturally.
In our hearts we are more deeply and softly connected with each other, while on the level of personality there is more
