Тимонг Лайтбрингер - Ненависть, Неверие, Надежда [поэзия]

The Modern One, I was a fool,
The Heartless One, I was your tool,
The Sunless One, I could be light ...
I am yet again alone in night.

You are the child of this age,
I am an ancient, ageless sage,
You are the youth in ages gold,
I am immortal, very old.

Behind my steps - the thousand lives,
Behind success - the thousand tries,
Behind my wings - the thousand dreams ...
I have redeemed own sins.

I am a star in darkest night
And for myself I'm own guide,
You are reflection, shining deep,
You have no wings, you like to creep,

You like to feed on own lacks -
The child, full of epoch's bracks,
I would prefer to leave you, rather,
There is no fate for us together.

You are the victim of your age,
But time will break this golden cage,
And time will teach you how to play
With love of other, who’s your prey.

With time you'll die in mind of mine,
The time will help me not to pine,
The time will be life's own sage,
For I was born in the wrong age.

So yet again I am behind,
I am victim of my own mind,
The time will help my heart unfreeze.

There is no one.


... Or is there is ?

As time pass on the body dies,
There are no ways to stop its cries,
The fate will once stop rolling dice
And past will measure pain's size.

The past is painful, future's dark,
The fate decides well whom to mark,
That mark is curse and not a gift,
Its pressure one will never lift.

May it be called a Divine Hell !
You will not stop my holy gall,
I will return you bits of pain
And in its waters you I'll sain !

I swear that you shall soon feel
That I do have my own will,
And I wish stepping own way
To all your plans I could say "nay" !

…But since the god is long no more,
There is no one to blame for gore,
There is no one to judge for pain
And all the pleads will be in vain.

It matters not if I survive -
Myself of curse I will deprive,
To find the painless way to sky ...
The price for wings is truly high.


As time pass on the body dies
To free the spirit way to rise,
It is the nature of that tolling
That makes the dice of fate keep rolling.

All I feel now is the pain,
All my hopes were but in vain,
And there is no one to blame...
Damn it, have I gone insane ?!

Will this be all just the same,
Am I but a soul lame,
Cursed to be left alone
With no love, no hope, all prone?

If I'm such a foul man -
Then ignore me when you can,
Never giving any hope,
Never leaving me to mope !

Oh, my girl, but you insist...
Yes, I’m able to resist,
Yes, I may not surrender...
Will that help, I truly wonder?

Oh, I can bury my feeling
And become the coldest being,
"Normal" man without heart,
Yes, I can resist you, but ...

You will drop me soon enough
Just to find the man that's tough -
One, that's able to resist,
One, whose heart will never twist.

Trust me, I am used to this,
I do have to pay my fees
All in hope to find one day
Only one, who won't say "nay",

Only one, chosen for me...
I will find her, you'll see !
But for now I won't resist,
Have some pleasure, at the least...


People all walk strangest ways,
Passing by without trace,
Hoping to find love one day
And forget to say theirs "nay"...

It was the time of retribution,
Of thoughts all dying in confusion,
It was one coldest winter day
When sun had moved off the way.

There is no hope for it to come
And all illusions are now gone,
The only thought that's left to pry
Is endless question - "Why ? Why ? Why ?!"

Why to ignore without answer ?
Why hiding soul in the panzer ?
Ignored ones now maybe few...
Some day they’ll start ignoring you.

Why to give hope ? There is no reason
If you believe it to be treason,
If heart belongs to other man
Then answer "no" - that's better than !

Why to keep silence when one "no" -
And hope will die without grow,
And I won't ever bother you...
Ignored ones ... are they but few ?

I will not be that "spare haven" !
On death won't feast like bloody raven,
I'll find another, truly sun...
I am again in the run.
The time will pass, I will forget
Of winter sun that made me sad,
Of heatless sun that did but hide
And disappeared from the sight.

And as for you, I will that tell -
I'll say : "Goodbye.
Fare
Thee
Well."

Who is the one to do things right,
Who has the perfect future's sight
And who has will to gain these ?
Those ones who have - stand by now, please.

No one believes he can be wrong
Like weakling dreams that he is strong,
Like loony states that he's all right -
Just all the others aren't bright.

Like that it's normal to believe
That lonely men are always stiff,
Divorced women are the stinkers …
Yet all of us considered thinkers.

Oh man, it's common to believe
That death is the eternal grief,
That life is such an endless race
With wildly rising-dropping pace,

That one should never be alone,
That happy days already gone,
And world will never be all right -
Cause all the others aren't bright.

And it's all known we possess
The right to make some constant mess,
We call it "freedom" by the way...
That inborn right to fray and pray.

I just won't say that these are wrongs …
The hundred times it's sung in songs,
The thousand times it's told by lives
Of common folk who were just wise.

I cannot say that they were right,
For modern us they don't seem bright,
Still they did not posses believes
That are the source of endless grief.

The one I call the truly wise
Is that who has no prejudice,
The one who has the clear sight,
For only he will make things right.

One day you'll act as you see fit
And thus refuse some other's bid
To make it way it ought to be,
And once you've made it - you are free.

My wrath is stronger than the will,
The wrath is only what I feel
And I will tear those apart
Who dare mock my bleeding heart !

Move off my way, you jackal’s sons !
I'll smash your faces, laughing ones
And I will teach you how to play
With love and heart, with dream and pray !

You'll dare not to say it so
Or soon you shall be ones in row,
Or soon you'll play your final part
And rest in peace in the graveyard !

I will bury those ones in tombs,
Who dare be those dumbest lambs
And will continue to persist
In making this all-tortures feast !

My wrath is stronger than you all !
I may go down, I may fall,
But I shall see you've paid your price
With own pain without size !

I am no victim and no serf
And for the kindness I won't starve,
I will bury it from you all,
You jackals soon will pay your toll !

The wrath, my wrath, it does descend,
It is so hot ... like desert sand,
And it's the desert in myself …
I'm long too thirsty and do starve.

But I won't drink my own tears,
I'll throw away those fucked fears,
I may be mad, I may be ill ...
Move off my way - for I will kill !

There were many, and were few,
And each of them was somewhat new,
Yet each was but another mew …
So soon away I always flew.

And I can't help but to forget
How meeting each I was so glad,
And how I then buried my hope...
This endless quest will never stop.

I was afraid to be alone,
But long ago those fears gone.
You know the bright sight of the thing?
This search for you gave me one wing.

Is that enough for endless fly
Up to the heaven, up for sky,
Or will I have to find that one
That will be second wing to sun?

Another one, another one ...
Such cruel joke...that ain't fun !
Reborn each time, reborn and mope !
Oh god, will this quest ever stop ?!

The wing has melted, feathers lost,
I am no one, I am but ghost,
Who thought of love as of life's mother
And who for it is yet another.

There were many, but so few,
To be alone just isn't new,
I thought of each as someone other...
But each of them is yet another.

У меня больная темка - я не знаю, есть ли стенка,
Чтобы мне бы разбежаться, чтобы смелости набраться -
И затем в единый мах мне б разбиться в пух и прах,
Потому что без любви все мы нищие цари.

Если б знали, милы други, каково жить без подруги,
Каково любить лишь тень, когда ночь сменяет день,
Каково жить лишь работой, загрузив себя заботой,
Каково томить себя, ту любовь не подаря.

Вы не знаете, наверное, сколь та фраза страшно верна,
Что кто меньше женщин любит, тот сильней им милым будет,
И любить они готовы тех, скует им кто оковы,
И спешат отдать любовь первым встречным вновь и вновь.

Мой рассудок не сумеет, он понять их не посмеет,
Только сердце не молчит и в надежде все стучит.
Ну зачем мне, люди, сердце ? Заколочена та дверца,
И отброшен в бездну ключ - мне любви не светит луч.

Нету худшего проклятья, чем забыть ее объятья,
Чем расторгнуть губ всю близость, чем тоски познать всю низость,
Чем, любовь в себе храня, избегать ее огня,
И надежду потерять, что найдешь ее опять.

Это крест мой, иль проклятье ? Я совсем уж без понятья,
Верить я устал в любовь, остывает моя кровь,
И в других не видно света, из души уходит лето,
Поцелуи лишь зимы мне в награду отданы.
У меня больная темка - будет ль в жизни переменка,
И найду ли я любовь, чтоб пылало сердце вновь ?
Потому что жить средь ночи нету у меня уж мочи.
И тогда последний довод - та стена. Лишь был бы повод.

Любимой кошке посвящается

День котов

Сегодня день котов у нас
(А завтра кошек будет день),
И собираются коты (всяк левый хвост)
Кому не лень.

Они в душе своей кошачьей
(Спокойной, мягкой, не кусачей)
Надежду тайную хранят...
Все дружно выстроились в ряд.

Все кошек ждут своих пушистых,
Иссиня-черных, золотистых
И с шерсткой, мягонькой, как шелк
(Как будто в том хоть раз был толк).

Хвосты задрали дружно вверх,
Глазами смотрят все наверх,
В толпе людской все ищут кошек
(Важнее рыбы то и плошек).

И, завидав кого, бегом,
Мохнатым шерстяным комком
Несутся все к желанной цели
(О ! Лишь бы все они успели !).

И началась уж тут борьба
(Котов и кошек ведь гурьба),
Царапки, зубы, вопли, когти -
Все показали свои локти.


Но вот окончена борьба
(Моя услышана мольба),
Сии коты идут по парам
Все по аллеям и бульварам.

Один лишь кот одним остался
(Он добрым был и не кусался),
И вот поэтому теперь
Живет один сей странный зверь.

Один он утро все встречает,
И сам себя он выручает,
И песни сам себе поет
(Все "мяу" уж знает наперед).

Хотя кому их посвятить?
(Раз некого ему любить)
Лишь только кошке той во сне,
Что в ночь приходит при луне.

И образом ее он сыт
Пока тот жив и не забыт,
И грустным иногда бывает
(Но, впрочем, и не унывает).

И все же верит сей зверек,
Что счастья миг не так далек,
И сможет он ее найти
На своем жизненном пути.



День кошек

Сегодня кошек день настал
(Ну а вчера был день котов)
И это здорово, друзья !
(И хватит, право, лишних слов).

Восславим наших мы подруг
(Они услышат может вдруг)
"Мяу-мяу" мы песню пропоем,
Как славно жить нам всем вдвоем.

Как славно нюхать этот носик,
Торчком поднять обоим хвостик
И шерсткой потереться вмиг
(И, о ! Ты рая враз достиг).

Как славно слышать нам "мур-мяу!"
(Когда ты говоришь ей "чау!)"
Ну и, конечно, "муры-мур !"
(Когда уходишь ты в отгул).

Без кошек грустно жить, друзья,
Без кошек жить совсем нельзя,
Ведь только кошки создают
Домашний бархатный уют.

Ведь только кошки могут враз
Невидимо улучшить нас,
И только же они готовы
Снять одиночества оковы.

А посему мы их почтим
И от собак их защитим.