Dodie Smith - I Capture the Castle
telling myself it would be better in a minute and feeling quite sure it wouldn't. Neil swam beside me. I must have looked very grim because
he suddenly said: "Say, are you all right ?"
"Just," I gasped, pulling myself up on to the plank bridge.
"You come right back and keep on swimming," he said, "or else you must go in and dry yourself. Oh, come on--you'll get used to it."
I slipped into the water again and it didn't feel quite so bad; by the time we had swum back as far as the drawing-room I was beginning to
enjoy it. Topaz and the Vicar, framed in the yellow square of the
window, were looking down on us. There was no sign of Rose and Simon
at the window high above;
I hoped they were too engrossed to look out. We swam through a patch
of moon-light--it was fun making silver ripples just in front of my eye sand then to the steps of the corner tower. Thomas had disappeared;
I hoped to heaven he hadn't gone back to Rose and Simon. his After we turned the corner to the front of the castle there was no more golden light from the windows or the lantern, nothing but moonlight. We swam on our hacks, looking up at the sheer, unbroken walls--never had they seemed to me so high. The water made slapping, chuckling noises
against them and they gave out a mysterious smell--as when thunder-rain starts on a hot day, but dank and weedy and very much of a night-time smell too.
I asked Neil how he would describe it but he only said, "Oh, I guess it's just wet stone"-- I found what he really wanted to think about was boiling oil being poured down on us from the battlements. Everything
to do with castle warfare fascinated him; when we reached the gatehouse he asked how drawbridges worked and was disappointed to find that our present bridge isn't one- we only call it "the drawbridge" to distinguish it from the Belmotte bridge. Then he wanted to know what
happened to the ruined walls we were swimming past and was most
indignant with Cromwell's Puritans for battering them down.
"What a darned shame," he said, looking up at the great tumbled stones.
I told him it was the first time I'd known him to have a feeling for
anything old.
"Oh, I don't get a kick out of this place because it's old," he said.
"It's just that I keep thinking it must have been a hell of a lot of fun."
Once we were round on the Belmotte stretch of the moat it was very
dark, because the moon wasn't high enough to shine over the house.
Suddenly something white loomed ahead of us and there was a hiss and a beating of wings--we had collided with the sleeping swans. Neil
enjoyed that, and I laughed myself but I was really quite frightened; swans can be very dangerous. Luckily ours bore no malice--they just
got out of our way and flapped into the bulrushes.
Soon after that, we swam under the Belmotte bridge and round into the moonlight again, on the south side of the moat.
There are no ruins there, the garden comes right down to the water; the big bed of white stocks smelt heavenly. It occurred to me that never
before had I seen flowers growing above my head, so that I saw the
stalks first and only the underneath of the flowers- it was quite nice change.
I was tired by then so I floated and Neil did too; it was lovely just drifting along, staring up at the stars. That was when we first heard the Vicar at the piano, playing "Air from Handel's Water Music," one of his nicest pieces--I guessed he had chosen it to suit our swim, which I took very kindly. It came to us softly but clearly; I wished I could
have floated on for hours listening to it, but I soon felt cold and had to swim fast again.
"There, we've made the complete circuit," I told Neil as we reached the plank bridge.
"I'll have to rest now."
He helped me out and we climbed over the ruins and sat down with our
backs against the kitchen wall; the sun had been shining on it all day and the bricks were still warm. We were in full moonlight.
Neil had patches of brilliant green duck-weed on his head and one
shoulder; he looked wonderful.
I felt that what with the moonlight, the music, the scent of the stocks and having swum round a six-hundred-year-old moat, romance was getting a really splendid leg-up and it seemed an awful waste that we weren't in love with each other--I wondered if I ought to have got Rose and
Simon to swim the moat instead of us.
But I finally decided that cold water is definitely anti-affection,
because when Neil did eventually put his arm round me it wasn't half so exciting as when he held my hand under the warm car-rug after the
picnic, it might have improved, I suppose, but the next minute I heard Topaz calling me--I couldn't tell where she was until Thomas signaled with his lantern from the Belmotte bridge. Then Father shouted that
they were taking Mrs. Cotton and the Vicar over to look at the mound
and Belmotte Tower.
"Mind you don't catch a chill," Topaz warned me.
Neil called: "I'll send her in now, Mrs.
Mortmain."
"But I'm not cold," I said quickly- I was afraid Rose hadn't had long enough.
"Yes, you are, you're beginning to shiver- so am I."
He took his arm from my shoulders.
"Come on, where do we find towels?"
Never has such an innocent question so kicked me in the solar plexus.
Towels! We have so few that on wash days we just have to shake
ourselves.
"Oh, I'll get you one," I said airily; then picked my way across the ruins very slowly, so as to give myself time to think.
I knew we had two pink guest-towels in the bathroom--that is, they were meant as guest-towels; they were really two afternoon-tea napkins,
kindly lent by Miss Marcy. Could I offer those to a large wet man his I could not. Then an idea came to me.
When we reached the back door I said: "Come in here, will you?
It'll be warm by the kitchen fire. I'll bring a towel down."
"But my clothes are in the bathroom-was Neil began.
I ran off calling over my shoulder: "I'll bring those, too."
I had decided to get my own towel or Rose's -whichever proved to be the drier- and fold it like a clean towel; then go back to Neil with it
clutched against me and apologize for having made it a bit damp. There would still be no need to disturb Rose's tete a tete with Simon,
because both towels were on our bedroom tower staircase-I had thrown
them out there while tidying the house for the Cottons- and I could
reach them through the drawing-room entrance to the tower. I meant to dress like lightning while Neil was dressing and then get back to the kitchen and keep him talking there a good while longer.
I got the drawing-room door to the tower open very quietly and started up. After I turned the bend I was almost in darkness so I went on all fours, feeling my way carefully.
There was an awkward moment when I got tied up in Rose's pink dress,
but once clear of that I saw the line of light under the door to our
bedroom. I knew the towels were only a few steps higher than that, so I stretched up and felt for them.
And then, through the door, I heard Simon say:
"Rose, will you marry me ?"
I stood stock still, scarcely daring to move in case they heard me.
Of course I expected Rose to say "Yes" instantly, but she didn't.
There was an absolute silence for a good ten seconds. Then she said,
very quietly but very distinctly:
"Kiss me, please, Simon."
There was another silence; a long one--I had time to think I wouldn't like my first kiss to be from a man with a beard, to wonder if Neil
would have kissed me if Topaz hadn't shouted to me, and to notice that a very cold draught was blowing down the tower on me. Then Rose spoke-with that excited little break in her voice that I know so well.
"Yes, please, Simon," she said.
Then they were quiet again. I grabbed a towel- I could only find one-
and started my way down. Suddenly I stopped. Might it not be more
sensible to walk right in on them, just in case ..
. his I don't quite know what I meant by "just in case"--surely I didn't imagine Simon might change his mind his All I knew was that the sooner the engagement was official the better. I went back.
When I pushed the tower door open they were still standing in each
other's arms. Simon jerked his head round quickly, then smiled at
me.
I hope I smiled back. I hope I didn't look as flabbergasted as I felt.
Just for one second I didn't think it was Simon. His beard was gone.
He said: "Is it all right by you if Rose marries me?"
Then we were all talking at once. I hugged Rose and shook hands with
Simon.
"My child, you're like ice," he said as he let my hand go.
"Hurry up and change out of that swimsuit."
"I must take Neil a towel first," I said, "and his clothes, too." I started off to the bathroom for them.
"How do you like Simon without his beard?" Rose called after me. I knew I ought to have spoken about it before but I'd had an embarrassed feeling.
"Wonderful?" I shouted. But was it? Of course he looked years and years younger and I was astonished to see how handsome he was. But
there was something defenseless about his face, as if strength had gone out of it. Oh, his chin isn't weak --it wasn't anything like that. It was just that he had .. . a lost sort of look.
How on earth did Rose get him to shave, I wondered, as I collected
Neil's things. I guessed she had dared him to.
I must say I was astonished at him--it seemed so undignified, using
Father's shaving tackle and my little enamel basin. (but then, the
dignified, stately Simon seems to have vanished with the beard-I find it hard to believe now that I was ever even a little bit in awe of
him;
not that I think the change is merely due to the beard having gone, it is far more due to his being so much in love with Rose.) When I went
into the kitchen, Neil was standing so close to the fire that his
bathing-shorts were steaming.
"Why, I thought you'd forgotten me," he said, turning to smile at me.
"Isn't it splendid ?" I cried.
"Rose and Simon are engaged."
His smile went like an electric light switched of.
I said: "You don't look exactly pleased."
"Pleased!" For a second he just stood glaring; then he grabbed the towel.
"Clear out and let me get dressed," he said--in a very rude tone of voice indeed.
I dumped his clothes down and turned to go, then changed my mind.
"Neil--please-was I tried to sound very friendly and reasonable.
"Why do you hate Rose so his You have from the beginning."
He went on drying his shoulders.
"No, I haven't. I liked her a lot at first."
"But not now? Why not, Neil?"
He stopped drying himself and looked me full in the face.
"Because she's a gold-digger. And you know it, Cassandra."
"I do not," I said, indignantly.
"How dare you say a thing like that?"
"Can you honestly tell me she isn't marrying Simon for his money ?"
"OF course I can!" I said it with the utmost conviction- and really believed it for that second. Then I felt my face go scarlet because,
well "You darned little liar," said Neil.
"And I thought you were such a nice honest kid! Did you take me
swimming deliberately?"
I was suddenly angry on my own account as well as Rose's.
"Yes, I did," I cried.
"And I'm glad I did. Rose told me you'd interfere if you could--just because you want Simon to go back to America with you! You mind your
own business, Neil Cotton!"
"Get the hell out of here!" he roared, looking so furious that I thought he was going to hit me. I went up the kitchen stairs like a
streak, but paused on the top step and spoke with dignity:
"I'd advise you to pull yourself together before you see Simon."
Then I whisked inside and bolted the door--I wouldn't have put it past him to have come after me.
One good thing about feeling so angry was that it had made me much
warmer, but I was glad to get out of my wet bathing-suit and dry myself on Topaz's bedspread. I was just finishing dressing in Buffer when I
heard the Belmotte party coming across the courtyard.
Simon, next door, said: "Let's go and tell them, Rose." So I ran in and we all went down together.
We met the others in the hall. Mrs. Cotton was close to the little
lamp on the bracket so I could see her expression clearly. She looked astonished enough when she saw Simon's beard was gone and got as far as
"Simon I" Then he interrupted, "Rose is going to marry me," and her mouth just fell open. I was almost sure she was dismayed as well as
surprised--but only for a second; then she seemed perfectly delighted.
She kissed Rose and Simon--and thanked her for getting him to shave.
She kissed Topaz and me-- I thought she was going to kiss Father! And she talked-- I once wrote that her talk was like a wall; this time it was more like battleship with all guns blazing. But she was very,
very kind; and the more one knows her, the more one likes her.
In the middle of the congratulations Neil came in-I was glad to see his dress shirt had got pretty crumpled while I lugged it about. No one
would have guessed that he had lost his temper only a few minutes
before. He said:
"Congratulations, Simon--I see the beard has gone! Rose dear, I'm sure you know all that I'm wishing you."
I must say I thought that was rather neat; but it didn't seem to strike Rose as having any double meaning. She smiled and thanked him very
nicely, then went on listening to Mrs.
Cotton.
The Vicar said he had some champagne in his cellar and Neil offered to drive to the vicarage for it--and actually had the nerve to ask me to go with him. I refused just as coldly as I could without making it
conspicuous.
But later on, when we were all standing talking in the courtyard before the Cottons went out to their car, he walked me away from the others so firmly that I let myself go with him. He took me as far as the big bed of stocks by the moat; then said:
"Make it up ?"
I said: "I don't think I'm keen to. You called me a liar."
"Suppose I apologize?"
"You mean you don't think I am one?"
"Won't you settle for a straightforward apology ?"
I felt in the circumstances that I would, but didn't see how I could
say so without its reflecting on Rose. So I didn't say anything.
Neil went on: "Suppose I add that I wouldn't blame you for lying--if you did his And that I admire you for defending Rose. You don't have
to say anything at all, but if you forgive me just squeeze my hand."
He slid his hand down from my elbow. I answered his squeeze.
He said, "Good"--then, in a more serious voice than I ever heard him use: "Cassandra, it isn't that I want him to come back to America with me, honest it isn't. Of course, I'd like it from a selfish point of
