Гэрет Уильямс - Темное, кривое зеркало. Том 5 : Средь звезд, подобно гигантам
For one instant they thought of doing precisely that, of tearing apart this sack of flesh and bones and manifesting completely, of opening a gateway and allowing their true forms to follow through to the Well of Souls.
But then reason prevailed. Cold and crisp. Precise and methodical. They needed this bag of bones. They needed it alive. It was, for the time being, useful. Far too useful to change and twist as the Well had evidently twisted their agent.
Besides, they were the masters of the galaxy. They owned the future. They could see its eddies, its whirls and twists and surprises. They would confront the Well of Souls again one day.
They had time, all the time in the galaxy.
When Sheridan awoke, they were all gone. Sinoval, the Vorlons, all of them. He awoke alone in an ancient place of death.
Alone, save for the ghosts.
* * * Whispers from the Day of the Dead — VIIIIt was over. The Day of the Dead had come and gone, and there seemed to be a vast…. emptiness over Brakir. People who had been waiting for years for this day now did not know what to do with their lives. They railed at lost chances, broken dreams.
One such walked slowly through the deadened streets. Last night Marrago had looked closely at all the people here, and he looked even more closely now, this morning. Some were happy, joyous, but most were depressed, weary, tired even. Kulomani had by no means been unusual.
But he had at least had a chance Marrago had not. There had been no Lyndisty to talk to, to tell one last time how much he loved her, how proud he was of her.
"A fascinating night," came a slow, mildly interested voice. Marrago turned and saw a familiar figure standing in the shadows of an alley. He had not been there before, Marrago knew he would have noticed, but then there was no surprise there. "I can still see the flickers of light and shadow. Old ghosts. They walk by moonlight and comet light. To some they speak, to others they are dumb."
"I can't say I'm surprised to find you here," Marrago replied. "This is the sort of place where you would fit in perfectly."
"Professional curiosity only, I assure you. There is no one dead that I wish to talk to."
"So, did you find out how it worked? Just how the spirits came back to us? Were they even real, or just some sort of illusion?"
"Oh, there were a few unusual effects I spotted, but I haven't worked out how everything happened. Leaving aside the problem of not having the time, I don't want to spoil the magic. Let the universe keep a few precious mysteries.
"And as for the reality…. did it feel real?"
"Yes…. yes, it did."
"Then it was. Did you find who you were looking for?"
"No, but perhaps I found the person I needed to see. How is that…. private project of yours going, then? The one you won't tell me about."
"It is proceeding nicely. I have found a little…. base of operations for it. Something of a rallying point, you could say. What about you? Is my army ready?"
"Not in this amount of time. I have a small nucleus, a couple of very promising under-officers. I've been making deals here and there. There's a Thrakallan crime lord who owes me a favour now."
"Any solid plans for the future, then?"
"I've been hearing, just here and there, that a group is forming. A couple of former captains, mercenaries, outlaws, that sort of thing. They always emerge after a war, and the bigger the war the more of them there are. They're going to cause a bit of havoc and chaos for a while, and then the Alliance is going to stamp on them and put them out of business."
"I assume you have other intentions."
"Exactly. With a bit of work I reckon I could take them over in a few months. There aren't many people with my standards of leadership and combat experience floating around. I'll join up, size up their strengths and weaknesses, forge them into some sort of order, and before they know it I'll be their leader."
"You think it will work?"
"I've seen groups like that before. Mercenaries just want to be paid for fighting, and in this sort of galactic peace there's no use for them. I can find a use for them. As for the others…. I will see when I get there. Some may be amenable. Some will have to be dealt with."
"Very well. I trust you. Just gather and train my army. That's all I ask."
"That's enough of a task for most people, but I'll do my best. I might have made a new ally today, actually. Do you know Captain Kulomani? Brakiri. Dark Star captain. It turns out he's not very happy with the way some of the Alliance policy is going. I gave him a few things to think about. When things start falling apart among the Alliance — and they will — he might be willing to join up with us."
"I leave it to your discretion."
"I told you. I'll get you as much of an army as I can. Just remember your part of the bargain. I want that name."
"I have not forgotten. It will take time, but I have not forgotten."
"Good."
"There is one more thing. These…. outlaws. If you do join them, what if they begin to raid Centauri shipping, even attack Centauri worlds? Would you really attack your own people?"
"I've thought about that. A lot. But…. what can I do? The raids and the attacks will happen anyway. If I join, then…. eventually I hope to be able to change that.
"But I will do what I have to. If I must kill my people, even my friends, then I will. That is a soldier's job, after all. To kill."
"And if among one of those victims you have to kill, you see your daughter's eyes, what then?"
Marrago shivered. "I don't know. Some days, my friend, I am glad I do not have to think the way you do."
"I do what must be done. I have given up a great deal to be where I am now, and I will doubtless give up a great deal more."
"Then so will I. If I must kill my daughter again then….
"So be it."
* * *She was awake now, awake and moving. Marrago returned to his room, fresh from his encounter with Moreil and his twisted monsters, to find Senna looking through the pitifully few belongings he had with him.
"What are you doing?" he asked softly.
She turned, jumping in shock, and looked at him. For a moment she might have been about to cry, or scream, or attack him. A series of emotions chased each other across her face, but they soon settled.
"Looking for something to wear," she replied calmly, keeping her eyes on his, looking at him warily, half transfixed by his stare, half ready to run and flee at the slightest cause. She gestured down at the rags of her dress. "Unless you were planning on leaving me in this. If you were going to allow me clothes at all. Would you prefer me naked, lying on your bed, awaiting your pleasure?"
"Stop that!" he shouted, and she recoiled as if struck. He could not explain it. Staring down Moreil and those guardians of his he had been calm, perfectly at peace, ready to move into battle at the slightest motion. But here, with her, he could not think straight. Nothing made sense. It was just the thought of Lyndisty saying those things, of hearing her say them to him.
She was shaking, but still she looked at him. "Do…. do you have anything for me to wear?" she whispered. "This…. this will fall apart before long. I didn't see anything, but…."
"I didn't bring much with me."
"I noticed," she replied, still looking at him.
"Perhaps a spare jacket can be re-made into some sort of dress," he said. She was quite a bit shorter than he was, and one of his jackets might do as a dress in a pinch. "There is sewing equipment there somewhere. I will do what I can when I have time."
"I can sew."
He looked at her. "How does the daughter of a noble house know how to sew?"
"I watched the servants. A needle looked a lot like a sword and I used to…. pretend I was a soldier. That is why I learned. At…. At Gorash, I survived by doing sewing work and repairs. It was…. better than the other way."
He nodded. "You pretended to be a soldier."
"I wanted to be a soldier. I wanted to be…. strong."
"You think the life of a soldier means you become strong?"
"Don't you? I thought that…. the training, the battles. If I'd been…. stronger, I'd have…. got away from that…. man…. myself. You are…. strong."
"Yes, I am. I have been a soldier all my life. I am strong, but I am also lucky. I have known better soldiers than me. Much better. They're all dead now. Strength isn't everything."
"But if I just knew how to fight, then…."
"I taught Lyndisty how to fight. I taught her how to use a kutari, a maurestii, her bare hands, countless other weapons. She was fast, she was clever, she was a better fighter than I ever was, or ever will be, and she is dead."
"I'm sorry," Senna whispered. "But I am not her."
"No," he replied curtly. "And you never will be. If you wish to sew the jacket yourself, feel free. There is a red one over there. I do not know what the colour will do for you, but it is the lightest jacket I have, and the fabric is not too rough. It should…. do. For the moment."
"There was something else as well," she said. "I…. I found this." She held out something to him, and his eyes narrowed. He moved forward and snatched it from her hands. It was a locket, made of fine gold.
"Don't touch that," he snapped. "Don't ever touch that again!"
"I'm sorry," she breathed. Her eyes were wide, and her face very pale. "I didn't mean to…." Then she straightened. "Are you going to hit me?" she snapped. All trace of fear seemed to have vanished from her face. "If you are, then do it."
"I'm not going to hit you," he replied, angry and confused and upset. "I have to go and train."
"I tried to leave," she said quickly, moving forward to catch him as he made for the door. "The Drazi wouldn't let me. All I wanted to do was watch them train. Take me with you….
"Please."
"No," he replied. "If you feel you are capable of it, try to take in that jacket for a dress. Or feel free to read. There are some books in that box there. Or go to sleep and rest.
"But you will not be allowed to leave here."
"Why not?" she hissed. "If that…. man comes looking for me, then…. All he can do is kill me, and I'm not afraid of that…. I'm not," she added, choking.
"By the Emperor," he sighed. "You are a fool, girl. He has already killed you. You just have not realised that yet."
She took a step back, and then another one, and then she collapsed on to the bed, sobbing into it. For a moment he made to turn back to her, but then he stopped.
She was not Lyndisty. His daughter was dead, and he would never see her again, not unless Sinoval chose to grant him some of that immortality of his, and he was present at the next Day of the Dead.
She was not Lyndisty. She never would be. She was a…. He paused. He did not know what she was. She was still crying.
He left for his training session.
* * *"A nice view."
"It is, isn't it?"
Susan sighed. It was a sound David had heard several times during the period they had been together. It was a sound of utmost exasperation, verging on disgust at his incredible idealism and naivet? a sound born of her deep-rooted cynicism.
"I was being sarcastic," she replied, tiredly.
"I know. I wasn't."
He looked down on the view before them, at the lake below the hill. Once it must have been beautiful, a breathtaking sight. He had heard some of the older workers talking about the light from the rising sun shining across the water. Each drop seemed to light up one by one, a miniature candle rising into the heavens.
But now…. now the sky was thick and heavy, and what sunlight there was was muted and grey. The water was saturated with silt and mud. It was dull brown, a viscous sludge rather than a torrent.
It was a sign, a reminder always to beware of the consequences of every action you ever took. David came here often.
"What do they call this place anyway?"
"The hill is called Turon'val'na lenn-veni," he said. "I don't know what the lake is called. The name means…."
"The Place Where Valen Waits," Susan finished. "What was he waiting for, do you think?"
"I don't know. I suppose I could ask someone."
"You could."
There was a pause.
A long pause.
It grew longer.
….
And longer.
"So," Susan said at last.
"So," David replied.
"You never answered my question," Susan said. "What are you doing here? This is the last place I'd ever have expected to find you."
"I live here now. I came here to…. work, I suppose. To rebuild, to…. make right a few things. I did…. a lot of things I hated during the war. I did this, Susan. Me, or people like me. I suppose helping to rebuild it is partly a gesture towards undoing all the things I did then. Does that make any sense to you?"
"No, but then I didn't expect your answer to make any sense. This wasn't your fault, you know."
"Yes it was. I could have done more to prevent it. I could have done…. something."
She sighed again, and shook her head. "I swear I really do not understand you sometimes. If I ever did."
"If we are talking about things not making any sense, what are you doing here? I thought you were dead, or…. gone or something. The last I heard you'd been taken back to Z'ha'dum during the peace treaty talks. And then…. nothing. What have you been doing?"
"Sleeping. That's not a metaphor, by the way. I must have slept almost a whole year. I spoke the entire time."
"I remember you talking in your sleep, Susan. You kept me awake half the night."
"Oh, come now. That wasn't just me talking. No, I…. I needed to clear my mind about a lot of things. There was someone there to talk to me, to explain a few things. I slept to heal my body, and I spoke to heal my mind."
"Who were you talking to?"
"It's…. I really can't explain. If you haven't seen him, then…. I'm sorry, David. I can't tell you. I really can't."
He sat up straight, tensing. "So why are you here? Who was that you were talking to in the temple?"
"I can't tell you, David. Please don't make me."
"You're working for the Shadows, aren't you? Still. After everything they've done to you, you're still working for them. It's over, Susan, the war's…."
