Eoin Colfer - Artemis Fowl. The Lost Colony
'So Artemis saved us,' noted Holly.
Vinyaya was puzzled. 'Saved us? How?'
'Well, if it hadn't been for that interference, our demon friend would have been all over the Internet by now. And you think that Artemis was inside the ball of interference.'
Foaly grinned, obviously delighted with his own cunning. 'Little Arty thought he could outwit me. He knows the LEP keep him under constant surveillance.'
'Even though they promised not to,' interjected Holly.
Foaly ignored this technicality, ploughing on. 'So Artemis sent out decoys to Brazil and Finland, but we put a satellite on all three. Took a big chunk out of my budget, I can tell you.'
Mulch groaned. 'I am either going to barf, or fall asleep, or both.'
Vinyaya slammed a fist into her palm. 'Right. I've had enough of the dwarf. Let's just toss him in a holding cell for a few days.'
'You can't do that,' objected Mulch.
Vinyaya grinned nastily at him. 'Oh yes I can. You wouldn't believe the powers Section Eight has. So shut up, or listen to your own voice bouncing back at you from steel walls.'
Mulch locked his mouth and threw away the key.
'So we know Artemis was in Barcelona,' continued Foaly. 'And we know a demon appeared. He was at several other possible materialization sites too, but no demons showed up. He's involved somehow.'
'How do we know that for sure?' asked Holly.
'Here's how,' said Foaly. He tapped the screen, enlarging a section of the Casa Mila's roof.
Holly stared at the picture for several seconds, looking for whatever it was she was supposed to see.
Foaly gave her a hint. 'This is a Gaudi building. You like Gaudi? He designed some lovely mosaics.'
Holly looked harder. 'Oh my God,' she said suddenly. 'It can't be.'
'Oh, but it is,' laughed Foaly, enlarging a particular rooftop mosaic until it filled the entire wall screen. There were two figures in the picture, stepping from a hole in the sky. One was obviously a demon, and the other was clearly Artemis Fowl.
'But that's impossible. That building must be a hundred years old.'
'Time is the key to this whole thing,' said Foaly. 'Hybras has been lifted out of time. A demon who gets sucked off the island drifts through the centuries like a temporal nomad. This demon obviously got hold of Artemis and took him along for the ride. They must have appeared to one of Gaudi's artists, or maybe even the man himself.'
Holly paled. 'You mean Artemis is…"
'No, no. Artemis is home in bed. We've pulled a satellite out of orbit to keep twenty-four-seven watch on him.'
'How is this possible?'
Foaly said nothing, so Vinyaya answered the question. I'll take this one, because Foaly doesn't like saying the words. We don't know, Holly. This affair leaves a lot of important questions unanswered. That's where you come in.'
'How? I don't know anything about demons.'
Vinyaya nodded craftily. 'Yes, but you know a lot about Artemis Fowl. I believe you keep in touch."
Holly shrugged. 'Well, I wouldn't say we really. .'
Foaly cleared his throat, then called up an audio file on the system.
'Hey, Artemis,' said a recording of Holly's voice. 'I've got a little problem you might be able to help me with.'
'Happy to help, Holly,' said Artemis's voice. 'Something difficult, I hope.'
'Well, there's this pixie I'm after, but he's a fast one.'
Foaly switched off the file. 'I think we can say you're in contact.'
Holly smiled sheepishly, hoping nobody would ask who gave Artemis a fairy communicator.
'OK. I call from time to time. Just to keep an eye on him. For the greater good.'
'Whatever your reasons,' said Vinyaya, 'we need you to contact him again. Go to the surface and find out how he can predict demon appearances so accurately. According to Foaly's calculations, there isn't a demon appearance due for six weeks, but we would like to know where exactly it's going to be.'
Holly took her time to think about this.
'In what capacity would I be contacting Artemis?'
'Full Captain, your old rank. Of course, now you'd be working for
Section Eight. Everything you do for us would be hush-hush.'
'A spy?'
'A spy, but with excellent overtime and medical insurance.'
Holly jerked a thumb at Mulch. 'What about my partner?'
The dwarf jumped to his feet. 'I don't want to be a spy.
Far too dangerous.' He winked slyly at Foaly. 'But I could be a consultant, for a fee.'
Vinyaya scowled. 'We're not prepared to grant Diggums a surface visa.'
Mulch shrugged. 'Good. I don't like the surface. It's too close to the sun and I have sensitive skin.'
'But we are prepared to compensate him for loss of earnings.'
'I don't know if I'm ready to put on the uniform again,' said Holly. 'I like working with Mulch.'
'Let's call this mission a probationary term. Do this one I for us. See if you like the way we operate.'
Holly mulled it over. 'What colour is the uniform?'
Vinyaya smiled. 'Matte black.'
'OK,' said Holly. 'I'm in.'
Foaly hugged her again. 'I knew you'd do it. I knew it. Holly Short cannot resist adventure. I told them.'
Vinyaya saluted stiffly. 'Welcome on board, Captain Short. Foaly will complete your briefing and get you kitted out. I expect you to make contact with the subject as soon as possible.'
Holly returned the salute. 'Yes, Commander. Thank you, Commander.'
'Now if you'll excuse me, I have a debriefing with a pixie we've managed to place inside the goblin triads. He has been wearing a scale suit for six months and he's having a bit of an identity crisis.'
Vinyaya left, her silver mane rippling behind her. The automatic doors closed with barely a whisper.
Foaly dragged Holly from her seat.
'I have so much to show you,' he babbled excitedly. 'The fairies here are nice, but a bit on the square side. Sure they ooh and aah, but no one appreciates me like you do. We have our own shuttle port, you know. And field equipment! You are not going to believe the spec. Wait until you see the new Shimmer Suit. And the helmet! Holly, this thing comes home on its own. I built a series of mini-thrusters into the skin.
It can't fly, but it can bounce wherever you want it to. The thing is beyond genius.'
Mulch covered his ears. 'Same old Foaly. Modest to a fault.'
Foaly aimed a kick at Mulch, pulling it at the last second.
'Keep it up, Diggums. I could snap at any moment. I am half beast, remember.'
Mulch moved the hoof away from his face with a finger. 'I can't help it,' he whined. 'All this melodrama. Someone has to poke fun.'
Foaly turned once more to his precious wall screen. He selected and enlarged an artist's impression of the island of Hybras.
'I know this all sounds very cloak-and-dagger, and I know you think I'm making an anaconda out of a stinkworm. But believe me, somewhere on that island there is an unsuspecting demon who is about to make a reluctant visit to Earth and make life very difficult for us.
Holly stepped close to the screen. Where was that reluctant demon? she wondered. And did he have any idea that he was about to be snatched from his own dimension and propelled into another?
As it happened, Holly's questions were inaccurate on two counts. Firstly, the demon in question was not actually a demon, he was just an imp.
And secondly, the imp in question was anything but reluctant. In fact, visiting Earth was his dearest wish.
Chapter 3: FIRST IMPRESSION
the island of hybras, LIMBO
One night, Imp No.1 dreamed he was a demon. He dreamed his horns were curved and pointed. His hide was coarse and armoured, and his talons were sharp enough to rip the hide from a wild boar's back. He dreamed the other demons cowered before him, then scurried away lest he injure them while in the throes of his battle spasms.
That night he dreamed this magnificent dream, then awoke to find he was still merely an imp. Of course technically he did not have this dream at night. The sky over Hybras is forever tinged with the red glow of dawn. But No.1 thought of his rest period as night, even though he'd never seen one.
Imp No.1 dressed quickly, rushing into the hallway to check his reflection in the lodge mirror, just in case he had warped in his sleep.
But there was no change. Still the same unimpressive figure as usual.
One hundred per cent imp.
'Grrr,' he said to his image. And even the No.1 in the mirror was unconvinced. And if he couldn't scare himself, then he was not a scary creature and might as well get a job changing baby imps.
There was some potential in the mirror. Imp No.1 had the general skeletal structure of a proper demon. He was about the same height as a sheep sitting on its rear. His skin was grey as moon dust and pebbled with armoured plating. Spiralling red runes wound their way round his chest, up along his neck and across his forehead. His eyes had striking orange irises, and his jaw had a noble jut about it, or so he liked to think, though others had called it protruding. He had two arms, slightly longer than an average human ten-year-old, and two legs, slightly shorter. Fingers and toes: eight of each. So nothing weird there. One tail, more of a stump, actually, but excellent for burrowing holes if you're hunting for grubs. All in all, your typical imp. But at fourteen years old, the oldest imp in Hybras. Roughly fourteen years old, that is.
It was hard to be exact when it was always dawn. The hour of power as the warlocks used to call it, before they got sucked into the depths of cold space. The hour of power. Very catchy.
Hadley Shrivelington Basset, a demon who was actually six months No.1's junior, but already fully fledged, strolled down the tiled corridor on his way to the washroom. His horns corkscrewed impressively and his ears had at least four points. Hadley enjoyed parading his new demon self in front of the imps. Generally demons shouldn't even bunk in the imp lodge, but Basset seemed in no hurry to move out.
'Hey, imp,' he said, snapping his towel at No.1's behind. It connected with a sharp crack. 'Are you going to warp any time soon? Maybe if I get you angry enough.'
The towel stung, but No.1 didn't get angry. Just nervous. Everything made him nervous. That was his problem.
Time for a quick subject change. 'Morning, Basset. Nice ears.
'I know,' said Hadley, tipping the points one after another. 'Four points already and I think there's a fifth coming up. Abbot himself only has six points.'
Leon Abbot, the hero of Hybras. The demons' self-proclaimed saviour.
Hadley snapped No.1 again with the towel.
'Don't you get a pain in your face, looking in the mirror, imp? Because you're giving me a pain in mine.'
He put his hands on his hips, threw back his head and laughed. It was all very dramatic. You'd think there was an artist in the wings doing sketches.
'Eh, Basset. You're not wearing any silver.'
The laughing stopped, to be replaced by a froglike gurgle. Shrivelington
Basset bolted down the lodge corridor without pause for more bullying.
No.1 knew scaring people half to death shouldn't give him any satisfaction, and generally it wouldn't. But for Basset, he'd make an exception. Not wearing silver on your person is much more than a fashion disaster for a demon or imp. For them it can be fatal, or worse.
Painful for all eternity. This rule usually only applied by the volcano crater, but luckily Basset was too scared to remember that.
No.1 ducked back into the senior imp dorm, hoping his room-mates were still snoring. No such luck. They were knuckling the sleep from their eyes and already searching for the target of their daily ribbing, which was of course him. He was by far the oldest in the senior dorm — no one else had made it to fourteen without warping. It was getting to the point where he was a permanent fixture. Each night his legs protruded from the foot of the bed, and his blanket barely covered the swirling moon markings on his chest.
'Hey, Runt,' called one. 'Are you going to warp today, do you think? Or will pink flowers grow out of my armpits?'
'I'll check your armpits tomorrow,' sniggered another.
More abuse. This time from a couple of twelve-year-old imps who were so pumped up that they were likely to warp before class. But they were right. He would have gone for the pink flowers option too.
Runt was his imp nickname. They didn't have real names, not until after they warped. Then they would be given a name from the sacred text.
Until that moment, he was stuck with No.1 or Runt.
He smiled good-naturedly. It didn't pay to antagonize his dorm-mates.
Even though they were smaller than him today, they could be a lot bigger tomorrow.
'I'm feeling pumped,' he said, flexing his biceps. 'Today is going to be my day.'
Everyone in the dorm was excited. Tomorrow they could be out of this room for good. Once they warped they were transferred to decent accommodation and nothing in Hybras was off-limits.
'Who do we hate?' shouted one.
'Humans!' came the reply.
The next minute or so was spent howling at the ceiling. Imp No.1 joined in, but he wasn't really feeling it.
It shouldn't be 'who do we hate', he thought. It really should be 'whom'.
But this probably wasn't a good time to bring that up.
Imp school Sometimes No.1 wished he had known his mother. This was not a very demonlike desire, so he kept it to himself. Demons were born equal, and whatever they made of themselves, they did with their claws and teeth. As soon as the female laid an egg, it was tossed in a bucket of mineral-enriched mud and left to hatch. Imps never knew who their families were, and therefore everyone was their family.
But still, some days, when his self-esteem had taken a bit of a pounding, No.1 couldn't help gazing wistfully across at the female compound on his way to school and wondering which one was his mother.
There was one demoness with red markings like his own and a kind face. Often she smiled across the wall at him. She was looking for her son, No.1 suddenly realized. And from that day he smiled back. They could both pretend to have found each other.
No.1 had never experienced a feeling of belonging. He ached for the time when he could wake up and look forward to what lay ahead. That day hadn't come yet, and it wasn't likely to, not for as long as they lived in Limbo. Nothing would change. Nothing could change. Well, that wasn't strictly true. Things could get worse.
Imp School was a low stone building with little ventilation and hardly any light. Perfect for most imps. The stench and the smoky fire made them feel hard done by and warlike.
No.1 longed for light and fresh air. He was uniquely different, a brand-new point on the compass. Or maybe an old one. No.1 often thought that perhaps he could be a warlock. True, there hadn't been a warlock in the demon pride since they lifted out of time, but maybe he was the first, and that was why he felt so differently about almost everything. No.1 had raised his theory with Master Rawley, but the teacher had cuffed his earhole and sent him digging grubs for the other imps.
